My Eldest Sister

All soul's day is coming up and I am obliged to go home to lit a candle for my older sister, Marietta. Don't get me wrong, I loved her and I want to be there for her but every time I see her gravestone, it makes me wonder why she left me so early and everyday since she was gone, I miss her more and more. She was just 15 years old when she passed away. She died at the Heart Center in Quezon City because of enlargement of the heart. That day, August 10,1990, she was scheduled for her monthly check up. She was with my father (my mom was in Kuwait at that time working for a cargo company). They were discharged because according to the doctor my sister was okay to go but the moment they left the cardiologist's clinic, she passed out and never gained consciousness again. She died in peace. Not even the experts at Heart Center could save her.

It was another dilemma that we had to face that time. My mom got stucked somewhere in the middle east because of Gulf war. She left without knowing that my sister was diagnosed with a heart ailment and she was about to know that her first born wouldn't be there when she gets home. The most pressing issue that time was how to contact her. All lines of communications were cut off because of the war. I remember everybody from my family trying their hardest to contact her but to no avail.

The wake lasted more than it should. I knew everybody was secretly hoping that my mom will make it. At least, she would still see her lying there, she will still see her body. After almost 3 weeks, the remains of my sister cannot take any longer, everybody knew we have to bury her already. On our way to the cemetary, we heard the bad news over the car radio that my mom was among the fatalities of war. It was heart breaking. As a child, I couldn't really understand why everything has to happen. In a heart beat, my family especially my dad was crushed.

After the funeral, there was no other way but to move on. We still haven't heard about my mom or her body. On the 40^th day since my sister died, everybody including neighbors gathered around the house and prayed for her soul. It was though I saw a dramatic scene from a movie when my mom came rushing, crying and confused looking for her first born. Apparently, somebody who knew her told her about what happened even before she talked to any of us. She was in disbelief. Well, who wouldn't be? I thought she was going to snapped. It took several hours before we were able to talk to her. And then she asked if we can all take her to my sister's grave. We did.. and you can probably picture her crying like crazy while he was pounding at the gravestone.

It's been 17 years since this happened but every time we talk about it, it still makes me cry.

Hair Fall

This has been an ongoing problem for me since I was, I don't know, 18 years old? I've tried everything to prevent it but nothing seems to work. I used hair fall control shampoo, I stayed away from harmful hair treatments, I stopped using hair iron and blow dryer, I took vitamin E, but I still see a lot of hair in my brush. I finally gave up and I just chose not to look at the hair falling whenever I comb my hair. Until recently, I think I found the best way to keep my hair from falling. Eversince I started doing exercises (I am now a hip hop abs addict), I noticed that my hair fall problem improved tremendously. Right now, I can still hair on my brush but its much lesser compare before. 5-8 strands? That's an amazing improvement. I don't know though if there is a direct relationship between my exercising and my hair fall problem, I just know that I'm lovin it! :)

Nikon D80

I have always loved photography, in fact, when I was in college I was seriously considering taking up photojournalism at UP Diliman. Photos, for some reasons, really fascinate me and I know it would be so fulfilling if I could learn the ropes of photography. 8 years after I thought of doing this, I am finally making a huge step to finally realize it. I am buying my first DSLR camera at Hidalgo later this afternoon. I am thinking of buying Nikon D80. According to blogs and some researches, its a great camera for starters. I just wish we could get a better deal at Hidalgo, I'll be bringing my bf because he's very good in haggling. :)

Hip Hop Abs

A couple of weeks back, I decided to go home and pay my parents a visit. Aside from the fact that I missed 2 paydays already, I have got to see my nephews particularly the youngest, Klein. I was just missing him so much. As I was trying to make Klein smile, I noticed my mom looking at me nervously while she was staring at my tummy. I know she must have gathered a whole lot of courage before she braved to ask the first question for the day. Was I pregnant?? I honestly didn't know how to react. I was extremely embarrassed. I weigh 115 lbs, I stand 5'4, and my tummy measures 32 inches. I manage to fake a smile and told her, she's got nothing absolutely to worry about.

As I was just about to forget that humiliating experience, another your-tummy-is-too-big line was slapped on my face again. I, together with my bf, was walking along Thomas Morato Avenue after we ate a delectable japanese cuisine, and we came acrossed a group of children playing chinese garter. I playfully asked if I can join them for a while which I immediately regretted. The youngest, I assumed, innocently told me that I might lose my baby if I'd do the jumping. Her face reflected a genuine concern for me so I figured I let it pass. But damn, that was it! I know I have to do something about this already.

Last week, as I was flipping through magazine and watching random TV programs, I saw the informercial of hip hop abs. I used to handle home tv shopping orders and I am very much aware that products on home tv shopping are either bull or crazy. But something really convinced me to try it. I knew I loved dancing and I knew I've got nothing to lose (except the P3,080 product cost).

I got the DVDs (they were 3) and some meal guides last Saturday (October 13) and I started doing it for 3 straight days and it is so much fun! The results? I have lost 2 inches on my waistline already and I think I am getting firmer buttocks. The result were just something I never imagined to get though I truly hoped so. I am thinking of doing this until I trimmed my waist down to at least 25. :)

Knocked Up

Taking time out from cheap out of town trips, me and my bf decided to catch a movie last Thursday, October 18. Trinoma, just like any other malls in Metro Manila, didn't have highly anticipated or at least well publicized films so we just had to pick a movie based on the poster and the people in it. I chose knocked up solely because it has Katherin Hiegl on it (I'm a big fan of Grey's Anatomy) and not because it was produced by the proud parents of 40 year old virgin. :)

I was surprised to find out that it was rated 18. I remembered asking my boyfriend bluntly, why? Does it have too much sex scenes or showed too much skin? I wouldn't have any problem seeing Katherine Heigl's gorgeous body, what bothered me was seeing the lead actor naked. :)

And then of couse I found out the reasons why. It was a guy film. What's good about the film is that they were all natural. You wouldn't think for a second that it wasn't happening in real life. It was hysterically funny and way better than the 40 year old virgin. It was basically about a broke, happy-go-lucky guy getting somebody pregnant on their first date, which he was so unready for. The one he had a one night stand with was of couse, Katherine Heigl, who was just starting a great career as E! Host. The movie then focuses on their struggle to make things work for the baby since they both decided to keep it.

I liked Katherine's character, Allyson but I loved Debbie (played by Leslie Mann) the most, who played Allyson's sister. The entire movie made me wish I could have my older sister back. Another thing that surprised me was the movie's ability to make me understand men better. That they needed space and how commitment can tear their hearts open.

The bad side of the movie is that I didn't see the chemistry and of course, too much of guy stuffs. Alright, I do understand them better now but things like spending more time with their friends instead of their family because of much needed space, secretly pisses me off. And then yeah, going somewhere else and get entertained by naked girls to keep their problems off their head, is just plain insensitive.

Overall, it was a good romantic comedy film. It was worth the P130 we paid for. :)